Birthday Parties: Perfection in Imperfection

There are times I consider myself a perfectionist. You might not think that looking at the chaos of my desk, but in some areas of my life (like video production) I'm very precise and want my work to be perfect. Sometimes that perfection sneaks into my role as mom, and I have to take a step back and learn from the wisdom of my children.

We're doing a combined birthday slumber party tonight for Bobby and Devin (yes, most of them are still bouncing off the walls at 11:30pm), and I wanted for each of them to feel special. I thought I'd accomplish that by making separate cakes and having separate themes: Bobby with Bakugan and Devin with lizards.

I should have gone to Party City for everything I needed, but I was trying to save time by not driving that far. Surely, they'll have theme stuff at Dollar General, Dollar Tree, Target, or Ingles. Yeah, right. Tip: If you're looking for a specific party theme, check online at Party City. Chances are, they have it and it's not as expensive as you'd think. And they have two coupons in the Knox County school coupon book that you can use once a month. I knew all this and still wasted my time elsewhere. Sigh.

So here I am on the day of their party with nothing but a multi-colored pack of balloons, streamers in red, black and purple (Bobby's choice), and two poster boards with no stickers for their themes. Last year, Bob had made the cutest sign for Devin's pirate party. It was a hard act to follow. I sat down with Bobby and Devin to decorate their signs and told them they could do whatever they wanted.

I wrote letters for "Happy Birthday Bobby" and then "Devin" and they cut them out. They picked out a variety of stickers that had zero to do with their themes, but they were pleased. In the end, they were nothing you'd post on Coolest Kid Birthday Parties, but the boys couldn't be happier. The posters were simply perfect.

Bobby then helped me make every selection about decorating from which color balloon went where to the order of colored streamers hanging in the doorway. Again, nothing for the record books, but he proclaimed when we finished, "Perfect!"

Later on each guest got to decorate his own tie dye shirt (which was awesome before they started). This will be their favors rather than the traditional goody bag. There were glops of fabric paint on some and one boy ran out of room for his name, but once again, oh yes, perfection.

Sometimes we have to let go of our ideas of creating the perfect memory for our children--especially around birthdays. We buy all the theme stuff in pursuit of this idea of the perfect party because we want them to reflect how special each child is. I'm thankful that my kids could remind me today that it's not about the stickers, balloons, streamers, party favors, or even cakes that make a birthday party special. It's when they contribute their special touch that we really see perfection.

Birthday Cakes: Works of Art

It's birthday season in our house (both boys have birthdays within a week of each other), and I'm lucky to have two master cake craftsmen in the family. My mother-in-law is the primary artist, but my husband is her handy sidekick engineer. Whenever she needs a cake cut into a specific shape or given dimension, he's the man for the job. Now in their sixth year as a dynamic duo, I've learned to step back and busy myself with other skills like streamers and balloons.

The first cake is a three dimensional Bakugan. The picture doesn't do it justice. The other is a lizard, which Devin adores. He carries one or two with him everywhere he goes and tells me what he really thinks by sharing "what lizard thinks."

Neither of these cakes would qualify as "adorable" but the boys couldn't be more proud. Mission accomplished.

Treasure Chest Cake

I can't believe I forgot to post a picture of the fabulous treasure chest cake. Thank you, Bert Slattery, for your creativity.

Birthday Party for Next to Nothing: A Real Treasure

My son Devin just turned three and wanted a treasure hunt for his birthday party. I was thrilled with all the creative possibilities and went immediately to work to make this a memorable occasion. Along the way, I realized this could be a low cost option as well.

Venue: The main way I saved money was simply by having it at home. Most venues for birthday parties are $150 and up. Parks are also a good alternative as long as there is a structure in case of rain.

Invitations and Thank You’s: I found a great website to send electronic invitations and thank you’s after the party: www.smilebox.com. They had a cute animated treasure invitation and I added a short video of Devin in his pirate hat at the end. It was original, it involved no paper waste, and the basic design was FREE.

Decorating Supplies: Another money saving tip is to keep the guest list at 8 or 16. Since most party supplies come in packs of 8, this prevents waste and extra spending. If you can get your child to decide on a theme months in advance, you can take your time scouring stores for deals. I wasn’t so lucky but I did find the plates, cups, and napkins on sale. I also found a pack of balloons and streamers at a dollar store for a buck each. Get the big balloons that are easier to blow up and at least two packs of streamers.

No Cost Craft: I searched online for pirate themed crafts and games and found lots of good ideas: www.coolest-kid-birthday-parties.com. For the craft, the kids painted pirate swords I made out of two paper towel rolls and a toilet paper roll. I had been saving rolls for some time. I like crafts that teach the importance of reusing and then recycling.

No Cost Games: We did three games: musical islands, pin the X on the map, and a treasure hunt. Musical islands was like musical chairs but they had to step on a piece of construction paper. When a child got out of the game, he got to “walk the plank” along our couch and then jump into a pile of pillows. My husband made a treasure map on a poster board; curling the edges was a nice touch. Each child had an X made of recycled cardboard and got to place it on the map blindfolded. I had to make two versions of a treasure hunt since last minute showers confined us indoors. I made rhyming clues that sent them all over the house and printed them in Lucida Blackletter font on resume paper to look more authentic. I put the final treasure in two treasure boxes my boys had previously decorated. The contents were divided up for their goody bags.

Goody Bags: It can be tempting to buy everything related to your theme, but ask yourself what the kids will really enjoy in their goody bags two days from now. I chose cute cardboard treasure boxes instead of bags and filled them with the treasure hunt contents: gold and silver beads, gold coins, pirate stickers, and Hershey nugget chocolates. They also got a pirate hat and an eye patch (which made for adorable pictures).

Themed Snack: Before we filled the kids with sugar, I gave them a snack. Since none of the kids had peanut allergies, they each got pretzyl sticks, a spoonful of peanut butter, and goldfish so that they could “go fishing.”

Treasure Box Cake: I’m fortunate to have a very creative mother-in-law who makes custom cakes. For our treasure chest, she cooked one box of cake mix in a Wilton loaf pan. She froze it to make it easier to cut, shaved the top off, and tilted it up like an open chest. She supported it with three bamboo skewers and two chocolate coins. Once frosted, she put a necklace of smarties and a handful of chocolate gold coins inside. It was the perfect size cake for 16 guests. If you’re feeling creative, check out lots of great ideas at: www.coolest-birthday-cakes.com.

For School Friends: If you’re having trouble trimming the guest list, consider taking cupcakes or cookies to their school separately. We took pretzyl rods, dipped them in melted chocolate and rolled them in sprinkles. It was a nice alternative at snack time.

I’m proud that this didn’t feel like a cheap party, but we only spent about $35. A little creativity goes a long way!