For Once: It's All About Me!

Note: This painting is an original by the artist I mention later in the post. My painting is similar but not the same.

I spent many childhood summers at a camp that drilled into me: "The secret to happiness is unselfishness." Though I try to make this mantra central to everything I do, the result can be that my needs get swept under the rug. I'm so busy caring for others that I don't take time for myself. I don't mean to sound like a martyr--far from it. It's my own fault really for not speaking up when I desperately need "me time."

It's this mind-set that almost caused me to pass up a trip with my hubby to Hawaii. Crazy, I know! He had a business trip with most expenses paid, I could get a free frequent flyer ticket, the grandparents were willing to watch the kids, and I was at the tail end of nursing Brooke. Thank goodness I came to my senses and booked our first trip without kids in 8 years!

We ate and drank whatever we wanted, took daily walks along the beach, snorkeled together, fed hammerhead sharks and touched stingrays. I took a yoga and tai chi class overlooking the ocean, danced on-stage at the luau, and got not one but TWO massages. Most importantly, I unplugged completely (no cellphone, email, internet, or TV) and let my mind rest. No to-do lists, no responsibilities.

I'll admit I felt a little guilty when I watched other parents enjoying a vacation with their children. I longed to share the wonderful facilities and opportunities with our own, but then I reminded myself that would have been a very different vacation. My body and mind craved this and I should just enjoy it while it lasted.

Then on the final day, I did something completely spontaneously: I took a watercolor painting class. I was just walking to the market for a sandwich when I noticed the artist, Donald K. Hall, selling his wares. Bob and I have a collection of watercolors from different vacations and I considered buying one. That's when he said, "Why don't you paint it yourself? The class starts in two minutes."

I like to think I'm somewhat creative as a writer and videographer, but an artist I am not. The last painting class I took was in fourth grade, at which point I realized I should pursue other avenues. Now here I am, just having celebrated my 39th birthday, thinking, "If not now, when?!" So I skipped the sandwich and sat down in a gorgeous outdoor setting.

The next four hours, he went over many of the basics that were probably obvious to most but which I'd never really thought about: how to accomplish scale, a mix of colors, how to let the water not the paint do the work. I was clearly not a star student, as I was admonished for my over-worked, detailed technique several times. I needed to relax more. Imagine if I'd tried this at the beginning of my vacation!

In the end, my first watercolor original was pretty good, if I do say so myself. It's definitely the most special memento I brought home. Now that I'm back, I gaze at it throughout the day and smile. No, I will never become a professional artist, but I will be more likely to paint with my kids or maybe, just maybe, on my own. For once, I didn't have to worry about who else needed me. It was all about me: my skills, my needs, my joys.

I write this not to say you need to book a trip to Hawaii (although, given the opportunity--GO), but to encourage you to find ways to be a little selfish at times. Maybe it's five minutes alone to watch the sunset or a one hour pedicure during a season when no one sees your toes. Maybe it's signing up for a class you've secretly wanted to explore. Go ahead. Give yourself permission to relax, learn, and live!